While straight people may be the predominant parents in society, attachment theory doesn’t apply exclusively to them.
As illustrated in a recent post from the Wall Street Journal, attachment affects how gay and lesbian parents connect to their children as well.
A gay man asked columnist Sue Shellenbarger:
“Q:Your article on the impact on children of fathers’ rough-and-tumble play was interesting. As a married gay man who is masculine but nurturing, with a husband who is also very masculine and nurturing, I am intrigued to learn how the research would apply to our 2 1/2-year-old twins. Can you provide any insight?”
She answered:
“A:Parenting skills don’t depend on gender or sexual orientation. Attachment theory holds that children need at least one adult who can provide comfort and emotional support when they are distressed, and serve as a safe base from which they can explore. Babies and toddlers often learn to expect one parent to serve certain needs more often. They may seek out their mothers for security and comfort, for example, because that is what they have learned to expect from their mothers. They may seek out their fathers for excitement and physical play, because Dad has typically been more encouraging to cues that they’re ready to wrestle. Either parent can serve either function, however. Also, one parent who is consistently sensitive and responsive can play both roles at different times.”
She went on to say research has shown that research has shown two-parent families, no matter the gender, have similar effects on their children development. This means secure bonding is equally important and equally important with parents of the same gender and their children.
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