Before you were born you were floating warmly, comfortably, and securely in your mother’s womb. You were snug, safe, and content. You basked in the biochemical messages that you are loved, wanted, and all is well.
Then suddenly one day you were thrust into a frightening world of bright lights, loud noises, and unfamiliar smells. To add insult to injury, you were torn away from your source of security and abruptly poked and prodded.
Finally, with great relief, you are reunited with the familiar heartbeat and soothing voice that you have known for nine months. You are held in loving arms and relax into adoring gazes and smiles. You snuggle into the splendor of a soft warm breast and its life-giving nurturance. Soon your sensitive and responsive caregivers learn which cry means “I’m hungry,” “I’m uncomfortable,” or “Pick me up.” You and your caregivers are in-sync.
You soon realize you have the power to have an impact on your surroundings. You experience that your needs will be met, and you learn patience and the ability to manage your impulses and feelings. You learn to trust caregivers to be reliable, the world to be safe and good, and to feel good about yourself.
The connections in your brain are developing and expanding. You begin to develop confidence, and over time, become independent, resilient, optimistic, and compassionate toward others. You are on your way to becoming a responsible person, a good friend, a loving spouse, and an affectionate parent.
Dr . Terry Levy and Mr. Michael Orlans co-wrote this article. They are the co-authors of two books and co-lead seminars on attachment and trauma. They welcome hearing from you.
