Sexting, or sending sexually explicit text or visual messages, is something many teens engage in but not every parent really understands.
Parents know it can often be unhealthy and problematic but may not know how to talk to their teens about the dangers of it.
A study by the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston found that teens who admitted to sexting were 32 percent more likely to report having sex the next year, and another study found the behavior to be very widespread among teens. Most teens are also unaware that sending sexually explicit images and videos can be prosecuted as child pornography in some states, nor do they realize how devastating it could be if their nude photo was made public.
Elizabeth Englander, a professor of psychology at Bridgewater State University and director of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center told CNN that it’s important parents know what they’re talking about before approaching their kids about sexting.
“If you want to convince somebody that something is a danger, you have to convince them that you know what you’re talking about, ” Englander told CNN. “So you can’t say to kids ‘Oh, you are going to go to jail if you sext.’ It’s not 100% impossible but even in the early cases of sexting, when (law enforcement) did prosecute kids, they didn’t go to jail.”
“People have a hard time with this. It’s not that I’m saying we shouldn’t teach kids that child pornography is a crime,” she added. “It is a crime, but if we emphasize that that’s the big danger then we’ve lost our audience.”
Some teens are also pressured into it and it’s important for parents to address that. Lori Cunningham, founder of Well Connected Mom, told CNN it’s important to instill self-esteem and teach their children about their self-worth, something that strengthens the bond of attachment between parent and child.
“And that no matter how tempting it is to want to be ‘liked’ by someone, they are worth more than degrading themselves for someone else’s enjoyment,” said Cunningham, a mom of two in Los Angeles. “If parents aren’t having this conversation, their kids could be going through some tremendous pressure.”
Cunningham also recommends parents establish a contract with their kid when they get a phone and expectations for how it should and should not be used.
“Your kids can go into these things knowing absolutely nothing, having no idea of what you think is right or wrong, having no idea of the facts or you can talk to them about it. Those are the only two choices,” Englander told CNN. “I don’t think in today’s world you can assume that they’re never going to run across sexting, they’re never going to see it, they’re never going to know it happens.”
