It can be hard for parents and other adults to help kids with problems arising from bullying, but there are some tips that can help you help them.
Signe Whitson, LSW, a licensed child and adolescent therapist and school counselor, recently wrote in Psychology Today the right way to help a child deal with bullying problems.
“1. Maintain Calm
First and foremost, when a young person takes the leap of faith to talk to you about a bullying situation, stay calm. Avoid freaking out. The dynamics they describe may be very run-of-the-mill or they may be entirely appalling, but either way, your role as a helpful adult is to listen well and respond as if the situation is completely manageable.”
“2. Express Sympathy
Next, it is helpful to express sympathy to the child. Something as simple as, “I am sorry this is happening to you” goes a long way in signaling to the young person that the dynamics they have described are not just a “normal” part of growing up.”
“3. Thank the Child
Thirdly, thank the child for finding the strength to tell you about the incident(s). Acknowledging the courage it takes to overcome fear, embarrassment, and self-doubt is an important affirmation.”
“4. Encourage Problem-Solving
The final important element when a child has confided a bullying situation is to initiate the empowering process of problem-solving. Because it is helpful to give kids a sense of ownership and control over both problems and solutions, adults should offer encouragement.”
“5. Follow-Up
Lastly, following up with a child after a conversation about bullying is critical. Just as bullying is not marked by a single act of cruelty, neither can one helpful conversation between an adult and child usually solve the entire problem.”
