We recently received a call from a distraught woman who said she has a 4-month-old baby she has parented as a single mother. The woman said she is no longer in a relationship with the child’s father, whom she never married.
The father hired a lawyer, went to court, and the judge ruled the mother and father must have equal time with the infant: 24 hours with the mother in her home and 24 hours with the father in his home.
The mother reported that since this new visitation schedule began, the baby has lost weight and appears visibly agitated and emotionally upset. The mother pleaded for experts at the Evergreen Psychotherapy Center to explain to the court that this arrangement is hurting her child.
This is a common dilemma. Courts struggle with how to balance the rights of parents wanting time with their children and “what is in the best interests of the child.”
Research and clinical evidence have shown that infants do best with the consistency, stability and security of a primary attachment figure. Babies form a deep emotional, social, mental and biological connection — the primary foundation for healthy child development. Disruption of a primary attachment can cause anxiety and insecurity, and place children at risk for an array of problems over time.
In this example, we believe it is best for the baby to maintain consistency with the primary attachment figure — who, in this case, is the mother. At the same time, we believe the court should allow the second attachment figure — or the father — to have significant time for visiting and connecting.
Lawyers and family court judges need information about attachment and child development to make the best decisions regarding the best interests of children.
What do you think? Let us know your opinion about these psychological and legal issues.
