We at Evergreen Psychotherapy always encourage caution with bed sharing, but one mother makes the case for it as a part of attachment parenting and why the benefits outweigh the risks.
Rebecca Hardy writes in The Independent (UK) that some of the studies, such as one we profiled here last month, may be missing information or erroneously lumping in deaths from co-sleeping with irresponsible or intoxicated parents with responsible parents using safety precautions when co-sleeping.
“‘If you lump them together, you get a much higher risk,’ says Peter Fleming, professor of infant health at Bristol University and a consultant peadiatrician. ‘We have investigated many babies’ deaths where the mother took the baby downstairs because the health visitor had warned against co-sleeping and ended up falling asleep on the sofa – almost 10 times the risk.’ Because as any breastfeeding mother knows, sometimes you do nod off.
The Carpenter Study isn’t the only one that Nice uses, but as someone who co-slept with all three children when they were babies (not together), it seems a bit rich that my meticulous set-up is lumped together with someone falling asleep on the sofa. Like many co-sleepers, baby slept beside me (not between us), on a firm mattress on the floor with no gaps (no danger of falling or becoming wedged), in a baby sleeping bag (so no duvets or pillows which could overheat or smother).”
Hardy sees some of these studies as part of a wider rejection of attachment parenting and attachment theory, which is Evergreen’s bread and butter.
“We’re seen as a woolly, tofu-munching tribe, yet this style of parenting is grounded in hard, cold science. The Mental Health Foundation (MHF) recently launched a campaign promoting the importance of healthy attachments (through “sensitive, consistent and responsive care”). ‘Massive amounts of evidence show insecure attachments are linked to disruptive anti-social behaviour in adolescents, and problems forming relationships,’ says Viviana Finistrella, an early years manager at the MHF. ‘Healthy attachment significantly affects brain development, helping babies grow more neural pathways.'”
For Hardy, it’s worth it, backed up by psychologist Oliver James:
“‘Attachment theory is one of the most researched and supported theories,’ says James. ‘As far as I know, there is no study comparing bed-sharing versus not, but studies suggest that contact is good. The attachment benefits far outweigh the supposed dangers. There is good reason to suppose that letting your child into your bed is good for them, so long as it doesn’t wreck your marriage!'”
