Many of these children are eventually adopted by well-meaning parents who are intellectually and emotionally ill-prepared to handle the children’s severe emotional and behavioral problems. Such children are unable to give and receive love and affection, constantly defy parental rules and authority, are physically and emotionally abusive to caregivers and siblings, and create ongoing stress and turmoil in the family. As a result of insufficient preplacement
services (education, training, support, matching) and post-placement services (individual and family therapy, parent education, support), family members and marriages suffer. Traumatized parents may relinquish, shifting the child and his or her problems back to the child welfare system. Others place their children in long-term institutions that drain financial resources and often fail to address the child’s attachment difficulties. Many parents choose to maintain the child in their family, which results in years of ongoing stress, neglect of the needs of their other children, and prolonging parenting responsibilities well into their child’s adult years,
Dr . Terry Levy and Mr. Michael Orlans co-wrote this article. They are the co-authors of two books and co-lead seminars on attachment and trauma. They welcome hearing from you.
