It is said relationships take work, and that is true, but the payoff is worth it.
According to a recent article published by the University of Texas at Austin (UT Health Austin), research shows that there are multiple health benefits to being in a loving and committed relationship.
Studies have shown that:
- Married people, as well as those with strong social relationships, tend to live longer and are at lower risk for heart attacks, certain types of cancer and infections like pneumonia.
- Those in supportive relationships experience stronger emotional well-being, which helps regulate stress hormones, improves heart health, and lowers blood pressure.
- MRI scans show that people in stable long-term relationships “exhibit greater activity in the brain’s reward and pleasure centers, while showing less activation in areas linked to anxiety.”
- Being in a loving relationship combats depression and other mental health challenges.
- Because of the positive effects of being in a secure and nurturing relationship on the brain and body, happy couples also have stronger immune systems, experience better sleep and gut health and are better able to manage pain.
Unfortunately, many relationships fail. More than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce due to various reasons: incompatibility, betrayal, substance abuse, attachment problems and faulty communication. Many people lacked role models of healthy long-term love and commitment growing up.
Traits to strive for
When couples are committed to creating a healthy relationship, however, old wounds can be healed and new ways of relating can be learned. The following are traits, behaviors and attitudes of healthy and secure couples:
• Both partners have “come to terms” with their past and are able to fully invest in the relationship.
• They are able to balance togetherness and autonomy, dependence and independence.
• They can trust and rely on one another and be a “secure base” for each other. Seek and enjoy intimacy without being afraid of closeness.
• They have good communication and problem-solving skills and are respectful and constructive when talking about conflicts and disagreements. They are able to share thoughts and feelings in an open, honest and caring way, and listen with empathy and understanding.
• They do not become defensive, angry, critical, or aggressive when their partner shares feelings or gives feedback; apologize for wrongdoings.
• They share power and control; are a partnership between equals.
• They meet one another’s needs for security, support, affection and love. Partners feel safe and sheltered – mind, body and spirit.
• Both take responsibility for their own part in problems and solutions: no blaming, avoiding, or stonewalling. Divorce is more common among couples who have a pattern of angry accusations followed by avoidance and emotional distance.
• They keep the relationship alive, vital, and a priority; they spend time, have fun, and show love regularly.
• They use self-control and do not take out stress and frustration on their partner.
• They resolve problems and continue to repair grievances and wounds so hurts do not grow into big resentments. Forgive one another for mistakes and hurtful actions, and practice self-forgiveness.
• They adapt successfully to changes and challenges, such as having children and forming a united team to raise children.
• They are both comfortable with closeness and do not take part in destructive dynamics, such as the “pursue–distance” pattern.
• They share basic values, interests, and moral codes of behavior.
These are traits and qualities any couple can work on with the goal of attaining a supportive, loving and lasting relationship while also experiencing the benefits of a healthy mind and body.
