This time of year, as children transition from summer to school, mornings can be especially stressful for both parents and kids. For children with mental health or behavioral issues, it can be even more challenging to get everyone out the door as we deal with the pressure of getting everything done within a limited amount of time.
It’s normal for children in general to have a difficult time with transitions and the concept of time. Then, for kids with mental health challenges, you add in issues with the inability to focus, lack of motivation, or problems with self-regulation, defiance and anger, and the process of eating breakfast, getting dressed, packing backpacks and putting on shoes can become overwhelming.
However, with some planning and preparation, mornings can become easier. Here are some tips from the Child Mind Institute for getting your kids ready and out the door at the start of the school year:
- Plan ahead – There are many tasks that can be completed the night before school in a more relaxed way, such as packing lunches, laying out clothes or taking showers. Then, take time to explain the essential tasks that need to be accomplished in the morning, before school. Consider making a list of morning routines. For younger children, break tasks down into small steps and praise them for each success. This will encourage good habits.
- Temper expectations – Limit morning tasks to the essentials. In the Child Mind Institute article, Dave Anderson, PhD, advises: “The reality is often that the child at least has all of their clothes on, has something in their stomach, and has brushed their teeth,” he says. “If we can get those three things done somehow, either before the child leaves or on the way to school, and reinforce the child’s progress, then we can start to build those habits and make it so that mornings are easier in the future.”
- Use visual prompts – Many kids need reminders and are best able to remember something if there is a visual prompt, such as a list, an organizational chart, or even a photo of the child brushing their teeth.
- Create incentives – Whether it is a special treat or collecting points for a bigger long-term prize, rewarding good behavior can be extremely effective. In other words, instructing a child that if they get out of bed on time, get dressed, and brush their teeth without too many prompts, they can earn points toward extra screen time at night or have a special breakfast. Be specific about expectations and rewards.
- Stay Calm – No matter how stressful the morning rush is, a child is more likely to be compliant and get out the door in time when the parent remains calm. Arguing or shouting creates a distraction that will only slow things down even more. Focus on de-escalation by:
• Speaking in a calm tone
• Being clear about expectations
• Praising successes
• Focusing on next steps
Change is not immediate and there is no way to avoid some harried mornings. But over time, by using effective strategies, parents can help their children build good habits and create a smoother routine. Keep in mind, in situations where a child is having trouble coping with getting ready for school every morning or refusing to go to school altogether, it may be helpful to reach out to your pediatrician or a mental health professional for support.
