A parent cannot create a secure attachment with a child without a commitment.
Commitment is a promise and a pledge to be available to a child through thick and thin. It is a moral obligation to take certain actions and respond in certain ways that engender safety, security and trust. Commitment — when joined by empathy, support, nurturance and love — is what helps parents build connections with children.
And positive connection is essential for healthy childhood development.
Children are most influenced by those with whom they feel the deepest respect and strongest connections.
Parents who successfully connect with their children are emotionally available, actively involved in their lives and model respect and compassion. They also model commitment — and for that to happen, parents must commit to the following:
- keeping your child safe by providing physical and emotional protection and security;
- truly knowing your child by being attuned to unique needs, feelings and mindset;
- providing appropriate structure, including rules, boundaries and consequences;
- having empathy and compassion for your child;
- being a positive role model by showing your child real-life examples of love, honesty, self-control, integrity and decency; and supporting your child’s physical, emotional, social, intellectual and moral development.
When parents make a commitment to their child, they also commit to their own emotional, social and spiritual health. After all, helping children requires parents to be “on top of their game.”
Parents’ own background — including things such as how they were raised and previous family relationships and attachments — play a major role in how they parent their children. By making a commitment to self-awareness, parents are more likely to respond constructively, be positive role models, and nurture healthy growth and development in their children.
